A Little Bit of Magic
Some quick thoughts on relationships
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It’s late on Thursday night, and I don’t have a lot of time to write. But I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot this week.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about three years, and we’ve been roommates since the summertime. Before you live together, in the early days, your relationship is a little bit of magic. There are things about your partner that blow you away, things that make you stop and think How Are You So Good At That?
How did you keep your calm and handle yourself so gracefully just now?
How did you pull this all together?
How did you, how did you, how did you, a million times over.
So all is well, and the two of you are a little bit of magic for one another.
Living together is a little bit different. For me, living with a partner is a handheld mirror. Every morning and every afternoon, I’m forced to face my reflection. And in that reflection are the little imperfections I carry around. I can’t hide from them, because they impact somebody else now. So there they sit, constantly on display.
I think this is where the best relationships lie, though.
It’s you and your partner. You acknowledge the imperfections, join hands, and choose to remember the little bit of magic you both have to offer. I think that’s what love is.
😉😏❤️👇🏼
In the book "Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Study of Adult Development" I read about some Harvard medical studies that followed 800+ people from early childhood to death and attempted to identify cause and effect relationships that lead to looking back on your life with pleasure once you're about to croak.
One of the interesting outcomes is that people who focus on shedding addictive and selfish habits and focus their attention on continuously increasing both the number and the quality of their relationships with others — as a parent, spouse, neighbor, mentor, colleague, community member, etc — experience joy and satisfaction almost independent of professional success or income level.
It seems there is truly nothing with greater long term value than relationships, and we only multiply the return on investment by becoming a better person for the ones we love.